I hate "blending" in, especially when it comes to fashion. Growing up, I was pretty quiet and kept to myself. So the best way for me to stand out among the crowd was through fashion. Fashion was my voice, how I identified with myself. I honed my styling skills, made sure I stayed true to my personal style and mixed and matched my way into the likings of a handful of local celebrities. It came to a point where my fashion sense started to put me somewhere I wasn't used to being. A place where I felt a little uncomfortable...it put me in the "Spotlight".
I could no longer go anywhere not dressed to the nines. Comfy sweat pants and baggy, worn t-shirts were no longer acceptable, for I was now known as the "Girl who has style". Some days I felt locked into that title. Trapped. Obligated to please the masses with stimulating visual images 24/7. Sometimes I just wanted to run to 7-11 and get some cookies and ice cream in my sweat pants and Nike hoodie, but whenever I passed the mirror to leave the house, something told me that I didn't look acceptable. But the truth is damn it, some days you just want to chill out, be incognito and fade into the background. Blend in with your surroundings. If you're a hard worker like me, every now and then you deserve it. When I'm in that space, it gives my brain a much needed break. It allows me to think without interruption or expectations from others. I can be a "fly on the wall", people watch, be on the outside looking in.
You can learn a lot from just observing. When I feel like there's a war within, I prepare for battle like a soldier, except my target is expectations of others, stares, and comments. So how do I disappear fashionably? With Camouflage print, mirror Aviators and transparent ankle boots. Everyone today has a lot on their plate. Work, school, family, sometimes health problems, financial issues and whatever else that seems to throw one off track. Sometimes taking a break is essential to your mental, physical, and spiritual well-being.
Disappearing and ditching the spotlight can be just what the doctor ordered. Although I hate to conform fashionably and love to be a individual and shine, there are times when I throw on my Camo, blend in and enjoy the silence.