I'm gaining weight and don't feel right in my clothes!
I hope you get to see this email because I'm really going through it. In the last 4 months I have gained 15 pounds (I have a thyroid condition that’s causing rapid weight gain due to the medication) and I'm really unhappy and unfulfilled with my life. I hate how fat my back looks, my stomach no longer looks the way it use to and my energy level is really low, I'm really depressed about it. Before you tell me to go work out and exercise, I have to admit I HATE the gym! I have no desire to go. My boyfriend invited me to attend his best friends wedding with him (which I was excited about 3 months ago) but now I don't even want to go anymore. I can't fit anything in my closet. But I already agreed to go. Any suggestions on what I should wear that can make me feel comfortable and beautiful at the same time?
Tiffany V. Tampa, FL
Awwww baby girl! Let me first tell you that everything is going to be ok. We all have our seasons where everything that can go wrong, does. The best thing to do is to decided. Decide right now, this minute if you are going to sulk and complain or suck it up, fight, and improve your life. But nothing will change until you choose. Since your reaching out to get some suggestions on how to get past this rough patch in your life, I'm assuming you’re a fighter like me! So let's wrap those knuckles up and get the gloves on! Ding! Ding! Ding! Round 1. Second thing were going to do is study 6 letters that will literally change your life. The six letters are A-C-T-I-O-N. Keep moving Tiffany, keep active, DONOT stay stagnant. The only way to see fast improvement is to keep things in motion (that goes for your love life, career, your body, and your faith) You mentioned you don’t like to workout, but your just going have to suck it up and get into the gym hun! If you stick with it, I promise, you will enjoy it. Getting started is the hard part, but after awhile, you’re going to feel strange if miss a workout session! Your body will notice it. Take care of your health as much as possible and leave your Thyroid condition in Gods hands, he will take care of it. As for as finding something to wear to the wedding, as you can see below, I hooked you up with a dope blue print. The full sequenced dress that stops just above the knee gives you a sexy ambiance without drawing too much attention to your problem areas. The shoes will SLAY everyone at the wedding, paired with a stunning emerald cutch and long cobalt blue tassel earrings. Make sure to whip that hair up in a neat top knot bun and walk in there with your head held high and enjoy yourself!
oh, and Tiffany, you can thank me later! :)
The ART of keeping your friendship in tact
I have a dilemma. Me and my best friend are having some major issues. I found out that she was spreading terrible rumors about me at school because I have been spending a lot of time with my new boyfriend. We use to be inseparable; together 24/7. But since I met my current boyfriend we don't kick- it like we use to. I guess she's jealous. I'm just really hurt that she would stoop so low as to spread rumors about me! I would never do that to her! Never! This is really stressing me out because I don't know how to approach the situation. We have a mutual friend that's an amazing artist and he has invited me to his Art gallery opening, but the only problem is my best friend will be there and we haven't talked about the situation yet. What should I do?
Oh, boy! I know first hand how it feels to be on the "outs" with your best friend and it totally sucks! I hate to make judgements because I barely know either of you personally, but I can see how YOU hurt your best friend! It sounds like you totally kicked your Bff to the side for a guy you just met. Have you ever heard of the saying "Chicks before Dicks?" It sounds to me like your really young, so please let me help you out a bit...GUYS ARE GOING TO COME AND GO IN YOUR LIFE! But best friends are for life! If this guy doesn't understand that you had a life ( and close friends that you use to spend a lot of time with) before him, then I think you may need to do some reflecting on the relationship. When a GOOD guy enters your life, he adds joy, love, and understanding into your life. Not negativity, strife and jealously amongst your friends and/ or loved ones. It sounds like you guys are going waaaaaaaay too fast to be son young, what's the rush? It's not like your both 85 years old and on your death bed, you guys have a life time to get to know each other, take your time and enjoy the journey! Things just aren't the same when you're feuding with someone you're so close with. I believe in energy, so being at odds with your best friend is sure to throw your positive envy off. I know you might have thought about this already but you guys have to talk. No matter how difficult it may be, no matter how much the s&*# may hit the fan, you have to get it all out on the table. That's the only remedy to the situation. I think you should try to talk to her BEFORE you go to the gallery opening. You don't want to be in public with negative tension towards each other. What if you try to approach her and she storms off crying? Get's totally pissed off and screams at you? Says something really embarrassing to hurt you? and besides, this is your friends Art Galley opening, it's HIS ( or her) day and i'm sure you don't want to ruin it by bringing drama along with you. It's best to handle this private. Call up your friend ( or ask to meet with her at a private location where there will be no interruptions) and tell her your sorry for abandoning her and if she's REAL a friend, she will apologize for being IMMATURE and spreading rumors about you. If she doesn't see any fault in her actions, I would re-evaluate the friendship because let's face it, what she did was totally wrong as well! But it takes a real mature person to apologize first and I believe you can do it. This is a GREAT way start to mending the friendship!
Oh, by the way when you do show up to the Gallery ( with best friend because you guys made up and now are inseparable once again!) wear something similar below! When you walk through that door, you will look like a Chic work of art! You can thank me later! :)
To Aso-Ebi or Take it easy?
My name is Amina and me and my boyfriend have been going together for 3 years. He is Nigerian and I'm African American. His little sister is getting married in 3 months and were so excited! Were going to Nigeria to the wedding but i'm having major wardrobe issues! I want to be respectful and wear something that respects their tradition, but I also want to wear what's familiar to me. Not only that, I hear that it's VERY expensive to buy an "Aso-Ebi" ( Nigerian outfits made from matching fabric that are worn by a group of people to a party or wedding as a uniform) and with the trip in all, my budget is not what I thought it was going to be. His sister told me her theme color for the wedding will be yellow and black, do you have any suggestions?
Amina, Pasadena, CA
Wow! Nigeria! That sounds so exciting! Please take tons of pictures and send them my way so I can live vicariously through you! I will first say that I'm not Nigerian, so I'm not sure how their customs and traditions work, but I would definitely 100% suggest wearing Tradition African Garments( the Aso Ebi) especially since your almost family. Talk to little sis, see if she could gift you an Aso Ebi, tell her that would take a lot of weight off your shoulders...and your pocket book! BUT we must stick to the budget just in case this doesn't happen. This is what this blog is about right? Looking great on budget and Miss Amina that's exactly what I'm going to help you do! Below are cheaper options . Here is my first choice:
Above is the blue print to looking AMAZING at lil sis' wedding! Just look for something similar and more reasonably priced. P.s. don't forget to stick to the theme colors...no matter if it's an American, African or Indian wedding, it's respectful to grant the brides wishes...it's her day after all!
Here is my Second Choice:
Either option will have you looking RIGHT! You will be raising eyebrows, your boyfriends blood pressure ( in a good way!) WITHOUT raising your debt to income ratio....You can thank me later! ;)
THE EX FACTOR:
I'm having an issue and i'm hoping you can give me some advice. My boyfriend and I have been going together for the past 2 years. Everything has been great ( or at least I thought) until I caught him talking to his ex on Facebook! Now don't get me wrong, i'm not the jealous type, but we all know what happens when the Ex pops up in the picture! I've talked to him about it and he says i'm "overreacting" and it's nothing, she just reached out to him to see how him and his family were doing. I guess it kind of bothers me because she's successful and pretty! I have a full time job and a full load of collage courses so I have to be on point at all time, I can't let this get to me and throw me off track, but the sad truth is...it is! Help! advice please!
Kaitlyn, Portland, OR
Thank you for being brave and writing in. Sharing something so private can be scary, so I truly applaud you! Now...for my advice. Believe him. Yup, I said it. Believe what he is telling you. I say this for two reasons 1. For the past two years, you guys relationship have been "GREAT!" Those were your own words! If he is as smart as I imagine him to be, he will not let an old flame from the past ruin what you two have built thus far. Since you seem like an smart , respectful, hardworking and sweet individual, i'm assuming that's the same qualities you look for in a mate. So, if that's true, he doesn't have the time or the heart to hurt you. 2. You DON'T have the luxury of driving yourself crazy over what he's doing and who's he talking too. Like you mentioned, you have a lot on your plate, there is no room for BS. You have goals and dreams that you are trying to reach, don't let ANYONE stand in the way of that! Sanity is underrated in todays society; guard your sanity!!!! Piece of mind= happy life! Unfortunately, you have to play the waiting game ( ugh!!!! It sucks I know!!! I'm just as impatient as the next person but believe me, this is for your own good!) You discussed with him how this situation makes you feel, now it's time to see how HE handles the situation. Someone who loves and respects you will let their ex know that their in a serious relationship and a newfound budding relationship between them two is out of the picture. And he can do it politely, but he should get the point across loud and clear. Now if this same ex keeps popping up and disturbing you guys relationship AFTER you give him the benefit of the doubt, THEN it's time to take action! Be it you decide you guys go your separate ways or work through it is up to you. But take action! Every human being deserves to feel appreciated, loved and respected in their relationship.
My Last advice: Start loving yourself even more! Be too busy filling your life up with positivity that even if the worst happen and he told you that he and "The Ex" was going to run off in the sunset and get married, you prepared yourself for this and you know he is leaving behind the best thing he ever had! Workout ( I know you have a full plate right now with work and school, but baby girl, I know you can carve out 45-60 min 3 times a week to do some type of Cardio, Yoga, Pilates...something!) When you work out you feel GOOD about yourself! You exude confidence! And men LOVE a confident woman! Every morning read a verse from the Bible, do your nails, get your hair done, kick it with your friends on the weekend. Do things that make YOU happy while your playing the "Waiting game" This action will benefit the BOTH of you. He- will see that his girl TRUSTS him instead of nagging, crying and throwing a fit (which in turn can run him straight into the ex's arms) Also, he gets to enjoy a better YOU after all that working out, taking care of your well being and Bible reading. You- Get to see what type of man your really dealing with...if he didn't fix the situation...RUN...he's not ready for a long term relationship...but if he did, GIRL YOU GOT A GOOD MAN IN YOUR CORNER!! Congrats! A fit body, peace of mind and the confirmation knowing that you can hold your composure in any situation spells Y-O-U W-O-N! Your growing a s a human being and that my friend is an awesome/priceless gift! Oh, one last thing...randomly ask HIM out to dinner at a nice restaurant during the "Waiting game" period wearing something similar to the outfit above...if you have been working out and nourishing your mind, body and soul...I promise you he won't be going anywhere anytime soon! ;)